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ahhh... i haven't wrote in this ish in a LONG time, i doubt any of yall missed me but let me fill y'all in on what has been happening.  ....ABSOLUTLY
NOTHING...gosh ain't i lucky? It's just been mad boring. i have a
bedtimes, i broke up with my boyfriend so NOOO phone calls, i got
DETENTION, and i've been just soooooooooooo tired. I feel
ugly, lmao... i think that's funny. This ugly thing just washed on me
HARD after school. This girl name Charlisa was talking about me...and
she was like i'ma tell her you think she sexy and this boy she was
talking bout me too was like HELL NO she ain't sexy..and then i memba
back in the day when i was on the phone with her she called me a Man
and said i looked like one sooo nowww i'm starting to believe i'm
really ugly...lmao. ha..and if y'all been on
Dimesonly.com they like rate how you look and 9 people seen my pic and
i got a rating of 2.0...damn. A 2 OUTTA 10...some shit.
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| Sometimes i wonder about a few of my friends. More then usually lately they have been depending on me for shit.You know being that nice, sweet, loving person
I am, I'm happy to help a friend out. So i'll let them do this, cook
them that, clean up after them, hold there books, pay for there lunch,
etc, etc, etc....Till the point where it felt like I was breaking my
back cuz they was sitting on it. 
That's not how your suppose to feel when your happily helping someone.
So ok nigga called me and was like " Ay can i get that like Usually
..Huh? Huh?"... it's my Shit aight
and when i said No, nigga wanna cop an attitude. Then at that wanna
make me feel bad, saying I'm diry and shit. I'm like nooooooo boo
boo...Yous mad wrong for that. Still Nigga wanna make me feel bad and
want me to explain why i can't let them borrow it...but it's my shit. I told them NO and wait till later. huh Sometimes i wonder about a few of my friends. | | |
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i'm scared...though i try to act real hard and tough i'm not.
And it fucks with me. I've been thinking lately..just about me and shit
that's been going on and i feel misplaced, unloved, confused. I don't
know if i'm happy with who I am....and that gets to me. Ha..I have this
boyfriend.. i mean he's mad cool, he makes me smile, he listens to me,
and we share the same interist. Only problem is i never see him, Matter
of fact I only seen him once and that was the day we hooked up. Nigga
is into me.. and everytime he about to come over or plan to come over ,
I freak out. I find reasons why he shouldn't or i make up lies about
someone got to do this or that. I thought maybe i was crazy but then i
started thinking and i realize i'm real fucked up. In my past i
would like other dudes. shitt i would like them a wholllllllleeee lot
and they would pay me no mind, they would make me feel like a fucking
nobody, and called me ugly and shit like that. And at school
noooooooooooooo nigga would talk to me or even turn my way.
It's been various times where i've been to the mall and i'm
wanting to holler at this dude and they will look right over me to my
friend and even if we have the same amount of people NO one would talk
to me. but my boyfriend, who Only Seen me once, wants to be in a
serious relationship. It don't add up. No one has ever wanted me but
now they do ? aaa maybe i just need help On the real tip. But aaa i
think once he gets a good look at me he'll be like eww i don't want you
or Since we was talking aboout him being my first, get some pussy and
leave me.
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